Obiagu Makes

Hey beautiful people!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the present mothers out there! I hope that your day is filled with the love and happiness that you deserve. As moms we work so hard and this is a day of extra recognition and abundance of love being showed upon us. This day reminds me of how much of a blessing it is to be called a mother. I have three beautiful babies on earth, a little brother, and two angel babies. Today I embrace them all. It is the greatest title I will ever hold. This day is difficult for many people though, including myself.

Many of you may know this, but May is a troubling month for me. On May 11th, 2010, I lost my mother to a stroke. She was only 42 years old and I was only 19 and pregnant with her first grandchild. My little brother was only 9 years old. Those moments were troubling and traumatic for me. She was my heart and I had the chance to be her daughter and friend to see all sides of her. She was a beautiful woman, a comedian, loyal, faithful, strong, powerful, with a heart full of love, and loved her babies more than ever. 

To have her death anniversary and Mother’s Day in the same month is so challenging for me because it resurfaces that weekend in 2010. 

Reminiscing 

That Friday I found out that I was having a boy and she was so excited because she predicted that I was going to have a boy years prior. I know that sounds crazy but lemme share a small glimpse. 

I was about 15 years old at the time when Mom and I were in Walmart getting a few things. We were walking towards the baby section and instead of walking passed it, my mother stopped to look around. In my head, I was like “Who in the family is having a baby?!” 

She picked out a baby boy set that contained a blue blanket, rattle, and beanie. Then proceeding to add it to the cart. Before I could begin to ask who it was for she says “This is for my grandson…BUT TAKE YOUR TIME DON’T HAVE HIM ANY TIME SOON” I felt like I needed to put that in caps to emphasize how stern she was. All I could think of was “This lady is wild.”. But she purchased it and stashed it away. 

So fast forward to being 19 and pregnant. Friday found out the gender, and Sunday was Mother’s Day. I talked to her on the phone and she was with our cousin and having a great time. I was at a crawfish festival in Pensacola, FL where I was stationed and she told me to not eat too much but to have a great time. That next day I got a voicemail that my mother had a stroke and it wasn’t looking good for her. My chest felt heavy for the longest time and I was full of tears while booking a ticket back home. That same day I arrived she passed away. Those days were supposed to be exciting and promising. Instead, it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt while everyone around me was telling me to calm down for the baby that was growing inside of me. 

I remember going to her home after she passed. It ached to see the dirty dishes in the sink, the things out of place. Even now simply typing this is making me emotional because I know that my mom didn’t want me to worry about her, but she was suffering mentally and emotionally from me moving away from home. While looking through her belongings you know what I found? That baby boy blue set. I had forgotten all about it and when I saw it you could imagine the rush of emotions I felt. I still have this set to this day. 

My mother was an incredible woman who had such a traumatic life in childhood and adulthood. But her joy was in her kids. She protected us like no other. It’s because of her love, protection, suffering, and wisdom that I was able to have a life that was better than hers and helped mold me to become who I am today. No matter what path I take in life, I will always credit my successes and happiness to my mom. Without her, I wouldn’t have the foundation to be the best I can be. Without her, I wouldn’t be able to grow as a now mother of three and guardian to my brother. Without her, I wouldn’t be Kamali. 

Thankful & Blessed

As you can see, May is a rollercoaster of a month. While being reminded heavily of her life and death, I am also reminded of the beauties that this life reminds me of. Although a short time of life, I am so thankful it was Brenda Carlyle who gave birth to me. No matter what I went through as a child, I would have never wanted to trade her for anyone else. As a child and as an adult now, I knew the weight of suffering that my mother carried her whole life. I can honestly say without a doubt that she did her best while raising me. 

I am reminded of my motherhood journey. I have three beautiful kids with my best friend who is also my husband. We have such amazing kids and I am constantly thankful for them. As most moms would say, our kids are our motivation. They help us to become our greatest selves because we want them to have greater lives. I’m not talking about materialistic gain, but an abundance of happy memories they will have to pass on to the next generation. I know that alongside these memories I create for my kids and the way I parent, my mother is smiling and in awe. I just want her to know that who I am as a mother is because of her. 

Rebirth

Whether it’s my birthday, New Year, Mother’s Day, or Alistair’s birthday, I tend to discuss and have a new energy. I use these days to reflect on what I want to improve on. 

What Can I Do Better?

This is a question I use to bring my struggles to the front and find which ways I can tweak and revamp some aspects of my life. Today is one of those days. This year my mother’s death anniversary and Mother’s Day are only a day apart. Yesterday I spent that day emotionally and physically releasing the pain of her loss. These feelings may hit me hard today, but for most of this day, I have been relaxed. 

I hope that you have had a day with moments of reminiscing over the past, being hopeful for your future, and most importantly, embracing your present moment. Time is flying by, and appreciating the present is a gift that keeps giving! 

-Kamali